Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Yes, I Know... My Hair is Gorgeous...

I have been complimented so much on this wool blanket that lays on my head a.k.a. my hair for a long time now & I welcome & so appreciate the compliments; as I was teased for many a year about it. But I’m over that now… I really am. But easy… don’t be so brave to make jokes. LOL, so I get sincere compliments accompanied by amazement mostly. Once a black woman (you know how much a good weave is treasured) truly asked me “Gurl, your hair is gorgeous, where’d you get it?” I told her “It’s Mine” she said “Gurl, trust me, I know it’s yours… but where’d you get it?” and I told her “No, seriously, it’s my hair, I didn’t buy it, it’s my hair, it’s real”. Some have told me this is the ultimate compliment… to be asked by a weave master where I got my hair. I guess I can see their point, but then it makes me think… damn! Does everyone assume I’m walking around with fake hair?! I've had people ask if I truly sit down & use a curling iron for each curl... are you fucking kidding me? Does that even sound like a logical question to you lady? Can you imagine?! Could you truly imagine? I've had complete strangers just bust out & grab my hair!!!!!!!! A COMPLETE stranger!!! And their response when I look back at them is... "I'm so sorry, I just had to touch it" followed by a corny smile greeted with a dirty look from me. I mean, that's basically the equivalent to me walking up to a large boobed woman grabbing a tittay & saying "So sorry, I just had to touch it". Who the? What the? Most people though (strangers) will try to break the ice with something & begin to fumble with their hands as they try to keep them to themselves & then finally blurt out "I love your hair, it's so beautiful... can I... is it... can I just touch it?" And I normally give in. TO COMPLETE STRANGERS!!! Maybe this is something I need to stop on my end. Basically my hair is a celebrity & without it I'd never get noticed. LMAO, my hair makes me. I don't think it would look good any other way, it wouldn't be me. Although, I won't front - I do PRAY that it could be straight... I put it on people's heads so they can take pics as if they had curly hair (babies, children, men & women) everyone's gotten in on the action. Shit! I'm going to start charging!!!

A year or 2 ago, on my walk down the block to the Port Authority I had a woman run up in back of me & catch up & walk alongside as she asked me what I use in my hair. Because her hair was just like mine – this is where the conceited pompous chick pops outta me (me thinking… “Yeah right bitch, your hair will never look like mine”), her hair was NOT like mine, not even close. I guess that’s human nature – certain types of people feel like they have to express that they go through the same struggle as you even though they clearly don’t… weird no? She tried everything she could but just couldn’t get her hair to look like mine. Well duh... So this weirdo asks me & I tell her & no joke, a few months later, walking down the same block she runs up to me again saying she didn’t mean to be a stalker, but she needed to know AGAIN what it was she had to buy in order to do her hair like mine. I gave her “shitface” look. Who does that?! Who runs ½ a mile to find out about hair product?! I swear, the next time she comes up to me I’m gonna have to karate chop her in the throat & tell her she’ll never have anything over me so get over it. LMAO, ya know, thinking about it now… perhaps I am conceited about my hair… I mean, at least I’m proud of something right? Sometimes when someone compliments me on my hair 4-5 days in all I think is “Pssshhhh, you should have seen it on the 2nd & 3rd day”. LMAO So when someone asks what I put in my hair I happily tell them & relish in the fact that they’ll never understand or get to the point where I am with my hair… I mean, this is an art people… this is a true craft I perform on myself on a weekly basis (YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT… WEEKLY BASIS!!!!) This shit gets expensive!!!

By my calculations I average (not including coloring):
Gel ~ $360/year
Hair Spray ~ $120 - $312/year on Hair Spray (depending on what brand I buy)
Hair Tonic ~ $180/year
Blow Dryer ~ $80/year (I go through at least 2 a year)
Shampoo & Conditioner ~ $120 (luckily I get a discount @ work so this REALLY helps)

So this works out roughly to anywhere from $860 - $1,052 a year – A YEAR on hair product alone!!!! And if an impersonator is trying to achieve my pinnacle of hair (I swear, I’m not this self centered LMAO) they don’t know the technique of how it’s all supposed to work out… hence why I'll have the most awesome hair in the history of hair Tee-hee.

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