I was almost murdered by a vegetable. A scallion to be exact… it was a fateful Monday night that I decided to make myself tuna fish for dinner… I know, appetizing right? I know you’re probably thinking I shouldn’t go all out making gourmet meals for dinner, but I couldn’t help myself. Had to bring the big guns out… anywho, I make my tuna fish like my Momma does, tomatoes, scallions & seasoning… Now, I love scallions, I mean I REALLY love scallions – there can never be too many in any dish as far as I’m concerned.
Victor & I were having a convo & he said something funny & in my deep breath before my laughter boom a scallion got caught up in my air intake… it was like the house in The Wizard of Oz & this veggie came crashing down on the Wicked Witch (also known as my wind tube)… I couldn’t breathe, it was blocking it!!! I feel it, just chillin’ laying there as I struggle to breathe in. I began to cough & after awhile it became uncontrollable… Victor began to pat my back (oh so gently LOL, didn’t want to cave in my back). And poured me some water to help me out. Now this is my question: When someone is choking because they cannot physically breathe, WTF makes you think they’ll be able to get a drop of anything down their throat?! I mean c’mon!!! I can’t breathe!!! I don’t have the time or ability to kick back with an icy cold glass of lemonade god dammit!!! But thanks Baby, thanks for the patting & coaching me through… with Victor’s help I was able to finally cough it up & it was so damned small… mascara & tears running down my face over a small cut of a scallion. My beloved vegetable… how could you do this to me?
Victor & I were having a convo & he said something funny & in my deep breath before my laughter boom a scallion got caught up in my air intake… it was like the house in The Wizard of Oz & this veggie came crashing down on the Wicked Witch (also known as my wind tube)… I couldn’t breathe, it was blocking it!!! I feel it, just chillin’ laying there as I struggle to breathe in. I began to cough & after awhile it became uncontrollable… Victor began to pat my back (oh so gently LOL, didn’t want to cave in my back). And poured me some water to help me out. Now this is my question: When someone is choking because they cannot physically breathe, WTF makes you think they’ll be able to get a drop of anything down their throat?! I mean c’mon!!! I can’t breathe!!! I don’t have the time or ability to kick back with an icy cold glass of lemonade god dammit!!! But thanks Baby, thanks for the patting & coaching me through… with Victor’s help I was able to finally cough it up & it was so damned small… mascara & tears running down my face over a small cut of a scallion. My beloved vegetable… how could you do this to me?
Next time i'll let out some aggression and really smack her back!
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