Thursday, March 5, 2009

A funny thing happened on the way to work...

Victor & I usually catch a shuttle when we get off the train, it drops us off about 2-3 blocks away from the house… we walk down to our house, last night we passed by a house (where I’ve NEVER seen or heard dogs – since July) and all of a sudden barking outta nowhere, but the owner was there & he said “Sorry” about the dogs being such a pain in the ass… Fast forward to this morning, I’m walking down the same block to go catch the shuttle (Victor wasn’t with me, he headed off to his Mom’s later). I pass by the same house & there is this dog:
Just looking at me, like dead in the eye, not even moving, like a statue (mouth closed). It clicks with me that this was 1 of the mother f’rs that were barking at us last night, before he even barks I decide I’m going to walk in the street & not even pass in front of the house… I get to the street, I hear barking (from both dogs – the other was a Labrador), I turn to look at the dog (‘cause I heard something bang into the fence) & that bastard is running at me!!!!! Like I stole it’s Kibbles n’ Bits or something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I freak the F out… like screaming as if someone was killing me… the reasons I scream is:

1. Hello?! I’m scared!!!! All I can think of is this little fucker digging into my calf with it’s nasty teeth
2. Hoping everyone, anyone in the vicinity of me would hear & (a) come help me or (b) look out the window, open a door – something

Not one person peered out, not one person came out of their house… NOTHING. At least I know no one will come to my rescue when I get abducted or killed! But I digress... My first thought is to run – but then I stop realizing this dog is going to catch me. So I stop & turn to it… it’s barking & barking & running at me to get closer every step I take back (meanwhile I’m thinking in the back of my head, what if the other BARKING dog – Labrador remember, 10 times bigger than this one, decides to bust out & try & run a train on me with this little dog?! Luckily he was old & fat & was just barking ‘cause well, he’s a dog & has to.) I tried to kick it - but the dog wasn't having it. Apparently those 4 legs of his come in handy when trying to get out of the way of a death blow roundhouse kick to the head. Then it tries to run circles around me – like trying to disorient me & shit. So the Dog Whisperer is in my mind… and I’m thinking “What would the Dog Whisperer do?! What would the Dog Whisperer do?!?!” And all I know is, you have to show the dog who’s boss, so I decide to stop screaming like a mad woman because that’s not getting me anywhere & I stop walking back, I stand my ground, slightly bend over & stick out my finger like I’m scolding it & screaming (at the same loudness as my screaming) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Over & over, he keeps barking but I stamp my feet & keep screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Then he decides to jet back to the gate, I start walking fast, like super quick, but then it tries to come back to me, then back to the gate & so forth.

At this point an Asian guy (walking his cute little VERY well behaved dog) that’s not on a leash comes walking up the block & I scream “This is unbelievable!!!” He’s doofy & laughs “Yeah, unbelieveable” – I realize, you didn’t just see what I went through dude… you have no idea what I’m saying… but then LUCKILY, my attacker decides to go after the guys dog… I’m practically running away at this point – as is the cute little dog trying to get away from this piece of shit bully, while this guy runs after them both screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So thankfully, I got away… but WTF?! What if I was pregnant?! What if I had a baby with me?! What if I had a 2 year old with me?! What if I was an old person?! What if I was listening to my iPod? I wouldn’t have heard this bastard coming at me!!!! So yeah, we’re going over there tonight and I’m going to tell the owners they need to do something about this dog - like keep it in the f’n house. If the owner gives me a problem I’m going to tell them I’m reporting it to the town. F that. So yeah, that was my morning…

Another pic of my assailant, how it looked when it was coming after me ~ out for blood (no this is not that dog - Google helped me out with the hellish image):

Speaking to my Mom later regarding my assault she said I should have wailed it with my purse... but let's get real people... Ladies, I know you feel me with this. There was no way in hell I was going to put my Baby (until I have a human one), my Marc Jacobs purse in harms way!!!! So no Ma! I didn't try to hit it with a purse... maybe next time... LOL

1 comment:

  1. I've seen this little shit, I swear next time it crosses my path I'm stepping on it!


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